So my Tuesday chill-out made it to Wednesday's entree for this blogpost.
Was having drinks with someone from my family last night and I was randomly asked this question - "Does a difference in age matter in a relationship?"
And before anyone attempts to attack my views, this is my opinion. Which I'm entitled to. So below, is my answer on the subject.
Older Men-Younger Women
I'm ok with this combo. I feel older men are way more dignified, dependable, respected, reliable, protective and more often than not, they are financially stable. And all those, are traits as to why the majority of girls prefer an older man.
When it comes to the age difference however, i feel that anywhere between 1-12 years of a man being older than his wife is acceptable. But if you're thinking of marrying a man who is old enough to be your father, you may wanna rethink that. Because when you hit your prime age, he may already be qualified to be in a nursing home. No pun intended, yea. Do the math and look at yourselves 20 years from now.
If you're the 'older than her father' man, how will it feel to be unable to do many things in later years while your wife is still able and capable? And if you're the very much younger wife, are you able to cope with and willing to sacrifice being tied down looking after a very senior husband in his old age while you're still enjoying the stuff that he's no longer able to?
Older Women-Younger Men
Unless the age gap between them is only about 2-3 years, my answer is nope. Because, no offence to anyone but it has been scientifically proven that a woman matures mentally faster than a man. And I couldn't agree more.
That is why these kinds of relationships hardly work, especially if you have a younger partner who thrives on childish charades, sulk when they don't get their way or make a big deal over issues that are lame and trivial. We've been there, done that - and guess what? After a while, it gets boring.
Women! Take that and compare it to a man who makes you feel secure and can take charge and handle any given situation when glitches arise. Simply put, there's no room for child's play. And as for the younger man who is into a relationship with an older woman, for now it may be fine. But again, if you looked at the bigger picture many years from now, while you're still going to the gym or playing football, your wife or partner may be happily contended sitting in her rocking chair with hearing aids. Is that what you want?
My husband is 2 years older than me. And I personally feel, that is by far, the best age difference between a couple - from a physical and emotional point.
With that said, I asked my relative "so what made you bring up this topic - you're going out with an older or younger woman?".
Him: Younger.
Me: How old?
Him: 24 years.
Me: Dios Mio, send her back to her mama already. She'll give you more headaches than you ever bargained for.
Him: But she seems mature
Me : For now laa. New broom sweeps well, right.
And to conclude, he agreed with me.
Him: So I should end it with her?
Me : Yup, the right thing to do.
But then again, love is blind. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's a gamble. Life's a gamble.
Letting Go
It could be a person, a food, a drink, a hobby, a habit or anything else that you become attached or addicted to. Most times it's ok and harmless. BUT, if what we love and like so much can actually be detrimental to us in the long run, it's another story. And telling ourselves to "stop, right there!" and get rid of it, is never easy. Especially when you've been holding on to it for many years.
It's like when you truly care for someone. You love them with all your heart and they know it? But they handle you like sh*t, treats you with close to zero respect and couldn't give an ounce of f%ck about your feelings. Eventually, this kind of love makes you sick, stressed, unhappy and starts to take a toll on you. It becomes a one-sided affair. This is an example of 'attachments' that I meant in the above paragraph.
With that being said, I've a confession to make. I'm guilty of being hooked on something that should've been thrown out of my life many years ago.
Therefore, I've made a decision. I'm planning on Letting Go.
February was a very peaceful and relaxing month for me. I had a lot of time on hand as I decided to push my heavy projects and assignments to March. Thus, I had the luxury to do a lot of thinking and reflecting. Particularly in one specific area of my life.
So, Hamed and I had a serious talk about this. An important, lengthy conversation. I needed his help with this. Because he had adviced me many times to get rid of this filth that had been present in our lives for far too long. He told me he'll be my 100% support all the way. And he said he'll do this together with me.
THAT, was enough motivation for me. To free myself of this poison that I was literally addicted to. I had contemplated doing it many times, but failed. And so I said 'Yes!'. Because somehow, it's something we both gotta do together - quit cigarettes. We are smokers! And he smokes way more than me. That is why when he said he'll do this with me, I was ecstatic.
I'm aware that it's going to be tough as hell to give up smoking. But making that decision to quit, was already a good start. And having him so willing to be by my side throughout this and being my support partner, is reason enough to give it a shot.
For the record, some years ago I tried using hypnotherapy to quit smoking. It didn't work. This time around, we will be using hypno sessions as well but we're doing it our way. We've got each other's backs. Let's hope it works.
Exposing myself to any kind of toxic that only gives me short pleasures now and then, doesn't really make sense. I'd rather have those good kind of pleasures that constantly keeps me happy - and one that doesn't burn out, especially during stress and challenging times.
Thing is, I've kicked out damaging idiots (there's more to go) from my life so easily. And if I can brush off humanoids from my life without breaking a sweat, what's a stick of cig! Right?
It'll be difficult, but I'll try, InsyaAllah.
It's like when you truly care for someone. You love them with all your heart and they know it? But they handle you like sh*t, treats you with close to zero respect and couldn't give an ounce of f%ck about your feelings. Eventually, this kind of love makes you sick, stressed, unhappy and starts to take a toll on you. It becomes a one-sided affair. This is an example of 'attachments' that I meant in the above paragraph.
With that being said, I've a confession to make. I'm guilty of being hooked on something that should've been thrown out of my life many years ago.
Therefore, I've made a decision. I'm planning on Letting Go.
February was a very peaceful and relaxing month for me. I had a lot of time on hand as I decided to push my heavy projects and assignments to March. Thus, I had the luxury to do a lot of thinking and reflecting. Particularly in one specific area of my life.
So, Hamed and I had a serious talk about this. An important, lengthy conversation. I needed his help with this. Because he had adviced me many times to get rid of this filth that had been present in our lives for far too long. He told me he'll be my 100% support all the way. And he said he'll do this together with me.
THAT, was enough motivation for me. To free myself of this poison that I was literally addicted to. I had contemplated doing it many times, but failed. And so I said 'Yes!'. Because somehow, it's something we both gotta do together - quit cigarettes. We are smokers! And he smokes way more than me. That is why when he said he'll do this with me, I was ecstatic.
I'm aware that it's going to be tough as hell to give up smoking. But making that decision to quit, was already a good start. And having him so willing to be by my side throughout this and being my support partner, is reason enough to give it a shot.
For the record, some years ago I tried using hypnotherapy to quit smoking. It didn't work. This time around, we will be using hypno sessions as well but we're doing it our way. We've got each other's backs. Let's hope it works.
Exposing myself to any kind of toxic that only gives me short pleasures now and then, doesn't really make sense. I'd rather have those good kind of pleasures that constantly keeps me happy - and one that doesn't burn out, especially during stress and challenging times.
Thing is, I've kicked out damaging idiots (there's more to go) from my life so easily. And if I can brush off humanoids from my life without breaking a sweat, what's a stick of cig! Right?
It'll be difficult, but I'll try, InsyaAllah.
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