It's like when you truly care for someone. You love them with all your heart and they know it? But they handle you like sh*t, treats you with close to zero respect and couldn't give an ounce of f%ck about your feelings. Eventually, this kind of love makes you sick, stressed, unhappy and starts to take a toll on you. It becomes a one-sided affair. This is an example of 'attachments' that I meant in the above paragraph.
With that being said, I've a confession to make. I'm guilty of being hooked on something that should've been thrown out of my life many years ago.
Therefore, I've made a decision. I'm planning on Letting Go.
February was a very peaceful and relaxing month for me. I had a lot of time on hand as I decided to push my heavy projects and assignments to March. Thus, I had the luxury to do a lot of thinking and reflecting. Particularly in one specific area of my life.
So, Hamed and I had a serious talk about this. An important, lengthy conversation. I needed his help with this. Because he had adviced me many times to get rid of this filth that had been present in our lives for far too long. He told me he'll be my 100% support all the way. And he said he'll do this together with me.
THAT, was enough motivation for me. To free myself of this poison that I was literally addicted to. I had contemplated doing it many times, but failed. And so I said 'Yes!'. Because somehow, it's something we both gotta do together - quit cigarettes. We are smokers! And he smokes way more than me. That is why when he said he'll do this with me, I was ecstatic.
I'm aware that it's going to be tough as hell to give up smoking. But making that decision to quit, was already a good start. And having him so willing to be by my side throughout this and being my support partner, is reason enough to give it a shot.
For the record, some years ago I tried using hypnotherapy to quit smoking. It didn't work. This time around, we will be using hypno sessions as well but we're doing it our way. We've got each other's backs. Let's hope it works.
Exposing myself to any kind of toxic that only gives me short pleasures now and then, doesn't really make sense. I'd rather have those good kind of pleasures that constantly keeps me happy - and one that doesn't burn out, especially during stress and challenging times.
Thing is, I've kicked out damaging idiots (there's more to go) from my life so easily. And if I can brush off humanoids from my life without breaking a sweat, what's a stick of cig! Right?
It'll be difficult, but I'll try, InsyaAllah.
