Once A Stalker, Always A....

So hello there once again. And as promised 2 previous posts ago, here's my story about the stalker who surfaced in my life in 1998.

I won't go into extreme details and depth as reliving everything can somewhat be traumatising for me.
But here it goes.

As I mentioned in the Facebook post, this guy worked for me while studying at the University.
I employed him because he was pretty decent looking, was intelligent, very efficient and also had a strong command of  English - which was an added advantage.

Over a course of 2-3 months, he went from being my worker to what I would say, a personal maid and eventually, a nightmarish stalker - all on his own accord. He started doing things for me which I never asked and his behaviour gradually took on a new pattern.

It started with my dinners. I would normally buy dinner from any of the nearby shops and would eat in the shop. So whenever he saw me coming in with the food bundle, he would quickly set aside a space for me on the table, clean the area, get cutleries for me and place it together with my food and drink - none of which was in his job description, which I kept on reminding him.

And then before I knew, he was walking me to my car every night, making sure I belted up and drove off before he walked away. This was normally about 1am, after shutting down the outlet.

Before you continue reading the following, which I've written in point form, bear in mind that there were many instances where my husband came very close to 'silencing' this person permanently. But it never happened because of my earnest begging and pleading with hubby not to do anything to this psycho. Why? Because my children needed their father to be with them, not behind bars serving time in a prison cell.

I went through a lot. Yep, I went through A LOT.

So yea, in brief sentences:

This was the person who offered to move in to my home to be my maid for free.

This was the person who whenever repair/service men used my toilet, he went in there and scrubbed the whole toilet spotless because he knew how repelled I was about strangers/outsiders using the toilet.

This was the person who once when I felt like throwing up, he opened up his hands and told me he was willing for me to puke on it.

This was the person who was jealous of every.single.male that I spoke to, including transgenders.

This was the person who once snatched the phone from me and cut off the line while I was in conversation with one of my male regular customers who was enquiring about a CD.

This was the person who while watching my sister's wedding CD with me at the store when we were free one day, saw me dancing with the best man in the customary 'maid of honour -bestman' dance, got so mad, took out the CD from the player and scratched it because he said he hated that the man was holding me on the dance floor.

This was the person who also got jealous of the 2 "funny faced" actors from Roxbury just because I watched that movie many times, so he thought I had a crush on one them.

This was the person who always playfully said that he was gonna kidnap me someday - where his mouth smiled, but his eyes weren't.

This was the person who refused to go back to his country for his father's funeral because he didn't want me hiring any other guys while he left.

This was the person who would hypocritically call me 'Kak Rin' in front of everyone else, but when were alone in the outlet, would call me 'Mrs (his name)

This was the person whose friend from Uni would one day come and visit me to let me know that he had a strange obsession with me.

This was the person who was jealous of my brother - because he never believed we were siblings and hated whenever my bro visited me at the shop and when we leave to go for drinks

This was the person whom I spotted a couple of times outside the empty RT pondok near my previous home at 2am-3am while I was coming home from outings whenever I never answered his calls throughout the night - whether I was with my hubby, family or siblings.

This was the person who could never hide the anger on his face whenever my husband visited me at the outlet where I salam, kissed my hubby's hand and he kissed my forehead. (Dafuq right?)

And finally, this was the person who narrowly escaped being picked up by thugs, hired by one of my uncles to simply finish him off.  I never knew about this until months later when someone in my family accidentally mentioned it to me - which I was thoroughly shaken to hear.

So you see? I have legit reasons to be creeped out by this monster.

In 2002, I told him that he was a 'wanted' and 'hunted' man by certain members of my family. And that is how he disappeared.

And I was relieved and contented all those years. Until he resurfaced and messaged me on facebook in 2017.

And you know what makes my skin crawl whenever I think about him? Is that he had an extremely innocent face where no one would imagine the kinda things that went on in his head.

I've had my share of stalkers stalking me throughout my life. But this person, was by far, the worse among all those other devils!

Keep An Eye On Your Kids

This podcast was produced and presented by my darling girl which aired live yesterday under the Daily Digest segment entitled : Is You Tube Kids Really Safe?

Presenting with her, was also Tee Shiao Eek and Tina Carmilia.

It's fairly disturbing to know what's out there and how our kids or toddlers can be accidentally exposed to these filth. A wolf in a sheep's clothing perhaps?

https://www.bfm.my/dd-youtube-kids-really-safe

Good job Kells, for hitting on such an important topic!

Why I Left Facebook

Ola babes!

For the past 2 years I've received countless of messages from my FB playmates.

I guess it's time I explained myself why I'm absent from FB (for many reasons) and why I'm still present on Messenger on off (for ONE reason).

Yes, you can still find my profile, and it's only there because of Messenger. For now.

Let's start with the Facebook part first.

It was in 2008 I think, when I first joined FB. And it was to try and locate 3 of my long lost girlfriends I met when I was 12 years old. I only knew them for that one year but we became really good friends in that year alone, and then lost contacts after we split up when we went to different high schools. And happy to note that within 3 hours of me opening up an FB acc, the 4 of us were reunited again, which was goals! It's a good thing I did it when I did it because I later learned from the 3 gals, that they were trying to find me all those years and were in the midst of putting up big advertising signs with my name on it on local newspapers to bring me to them, omg haha.

Anyway yes, that was the only reason I initially had an FB. And it was enjoyable for a couple of years until the friend list grew more and more, although I was particular on keeping that list to below 100. Then I not only had my own friends and relatives, you have friends of the kids adding you, friends of relatives, friends of husband, and then friends of friends, gosh! Kinda annoying, you know what I mean? I eventually had more strangers than people I actually knew. Ok lah, at first. But as time flew by, some of them - strangers AND even people I knew became a tad too demanding on facebook.

For starters, there were these bunch of girls/women who got extremely upset when I didn't comment or like their posts. You have no idea how many private messages I received ever so often, asking me if I'm angry with them, of if they wrote something wrong, just because I failed to 'like' or 'comment' on their daily posts or whatever crap they wrote! Can you believe that, seriously? Some of these females are not 20 year olds. They're actually married with kids and they get over dramatic on a stupid social media platform! Like, get a friggin hold of yourself and do something else in the real world for god sake!

Let me explain myself first yea. Me on FB was very much like this: I'd post something, browse through for about 5 minutes, then get off it. I can't  be bothered to scroll forever and read, like or comment every damn thing there. You know why? I've got tons of things to do in the real world. It's called 'living'. 

Oh yea and when some of them commented, it's never just that ONE comment. Make the mistake of giving a courtesy reply to their complimentary comment, and it goes back and forth, back and forth forever. They never stop. They actually expect a whole conversation to take place right there on the thread. I swear I don't have time for that. I post stuff because there are people who GENUINELY like what I write or pictures of my cooking that I share and they've even told me that they always look forward to seeing the stuff I put up each day.

Next, are the groups of attention seekers and emotional wreck. These are normally the younger ones. Fight with boyfriends, post on FB. Fight with parents, post on FB. Fight with teachers, post on FB. Dog pee on their shoes, post. Constipated? Post. And then they'll gloat over how they suffer from depression, anxiety and stress thoughts all day long, all year round. These were the things that totally put me on depression mode, to be honest. Let's admit it, most, if not all of us, grab our phones and check out FB first thing in the mornings, right? And imagine seeing all these gloomy, melancholy and glum negativities the minute you open your eyes? It does my head in, you know? It's not that I'm cold hearted for being insensitive towards these people, but what good do you get from blasting all your misery on social media? Nada. Because if you genuinely have issues, the best thing was to speak to a trusted someone over it, or see a professional. By posting it publicly, you end up getting more negative comments or worse yet, when you get substandard advice from quacks that end up making the situation even more chronic.

Haih. Even writing this post is already stressing me out because it's more or less having to re-live those miserable times on facebook.

The 3rd types are the pretentious bunch of shenanigans. Those who'll post anything no matter how fake it is, just to show off.  I've personally watched how normal people turned and become slightly weirdish (is there such a word?) through facebook. They'll compete over their own peers to show who got better gifts, who ate at a better place, who's got a fatter wallet, etc. It's great to post the stuff you're proud of no doubt, but when it reeks of boasting and bragging, I'm clueless. Why the competition, or need to show off, is beyond my imagination. I feel their unhappiness and to a degree, their bitterness as well.

The 4th and final reason which led me to leave Facebook for good, is the return of the stalker. He was a foreigner, and a student at the IIU of Malaysia and used to work for me part time at my previous business. After a few months, at what I first perceived to be a decent, intelligent and trustworthy young guy, he developed a strange and over-obsessiveness towards me. I will talk about this nutjob on the next post, ok?

I can't for the life of me figure out how or why, but he found me. On Facebook.

Those are the reasons why I'm no longer on FB. And I'll admit, that I'm a much more happier person today without the dramas of FB. In fact, besides successfully locating my lost girlfriends, there's only ONE other positivity from Facebook - and I'll certainly write about that too on a follow up post.

The reason I can't delete my Facebook account is because of Messenger. Which brings us to the one and only reason why I still need that.

It's because I have my entire family chat group on Messenger and it's very active. It's our platform where we exchange family news, family infos and everything else almost daily.

I would gladly move that to a Watsapp Chat Group instead, but the problem is that some of the older Aunts and Uncles who are staying away from Malaysia do not know how to install the app on their phones. Maklumlah, senior citizens, right? Therefore, when they do get to Malaysia, it will be set up in their phones and walla, then I can gladly divorce Messenger and Facebook.

So yes, to all of you were wondering all these while, that's my explanation in detail. Try not to get offended if you are one of those who've played a part in me exiting FB for the reasons I stated, but do change yourselves to be better and more original. Life is so much better when you think positive, be positive and just dwell in positivity.

However, I do miss the others. But I had a choice of either to "Keep Facebook and Wreck The friendship, or Dismiss Facebook and Save The Friendship". '

Obviously, I chose the latter.

Adios!

Weird Thought

Actually, it's more a scary thought than a weird one.

Few days back, I was watching a movie with Hamed on netflix, when all of a sudden, an image of a certain person came to mind. And ironically, the way I got to know this person, was the same way as was portrayed in the movie.

Imagine this clip: You met a stranger through a mutual acquaintance. You became friends. You spent a lot of time hanging out alone together - and technically, this is someone you only met through another mate.

Worse case scenario? While you were alone, anything could've happened. You could've been slaughtered, stabbed or murdered. Because at the end of the day, apart from hanging out many times together and basically only having a rough idea where they're from, you know absolutely nothing else about this person. More so if you've never been introduced to any of their friends nor family. And that ain't a good sign at all. Because it can only mean 2 things: Either that person can't be trusted, or they don't trust you.

Scary right?

Just to clarify, in my case, I'm not saying that the person I encountered with was bad. In fact, this pal was nice and there was a certain degree of kindness towards me. It's just that there was never a healthy amount of trust between us as friends. That's all.

Anyway halfway through the movie, I cringed at the similarities and the familiarness of the events. I didn't watch the end, and didn't want to know how it ended either.

Also, watching that movie made me realise how much more I appreciate Hamed.

No, Hamed and I didn't meet through another friend and nope, he's definitely not the person I'm referring to above. But we did meet in a fairly unusual way, I'll admit that. And yes, at that point, he was indeed a stranger. A foreign stranger at that. But throughout these 8+ years of our friendship, I've come to a point where other than my husband and kids, I trust him and my other best mate Ariff the most in my life. His mother and children are incredible people who never fail to meet up with me whenever they come over to Msia from Alex, so yeah, we are very well acquainted with each other.

Oh yes, and a couple of years after we met, he even moved closer to my area just to be around in case I ever needed his help - which I have, many times!

Back to the story, I couldn't watch till the end because it gave me the chills. And my advice to you guys out there regardless of how old you are, male or female, just be careful who you meet or choose to become close to. Most times, the ones that seem to be the perfect 'stranger', are the exact type you gotta be careful of. Unless they're still that way after 8+ years ;)

So anyway, as I shut off the movie this is what Hamed said:

"Now you know why I always have a problem when you trust so and so?"

Yes, Papi, yes.

And later, we cooked up some Singaporean noodles with a touch of Malaysia for makan malam.

The taste? 8/10.

Chapter 1

It all began with this scrumptious, delicious, tasty slice of cake. And for my own record, I'll call it Chapter 1.

Have an unforgettable weekend my darlings!

My Love

When I first met my husband, it was the year that my parents were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. And here we are today, celebrating OUR 25 years of marriage. I can't imagine how swiftly time has flown by.

Traditionally, my husband and I always go out for a romantic dinner. But this year, since our anniversary was on Chinese New Year's Eve, our children organised a lovely dinner with the family at Jibby's. I loved every single minute of it, especially that beautiful cake which was specially ordered and we were genuinely surprised when it was presented towards the end of dinner. Such a beauty with fresh orchids. As for the colour hues of the cake - I can only say my kids know my taste too well.

Was a wonderful day indeed! Hubby was at home with me in the morning and after they left for work, we went shopping, followed by lunch and then rushed home to tune in to my daughter's going 'live' on air for a talk show and wrapped it up with a lovely afternoon nap that was sweetly complemented by the pouring of sexy rain.

How perfect is that?

And I can honestly say that the love I have for my husband is so much more than how I loved him 25 years ago.