The Day We Met

Sometimes, you can love a person so deeply and so much, till it hurts

We first spoke to each other on the 31st of July many years ago. It was at the Subang International Airport, Terminal 1.

Here's how it all started.

We used to pass each other all the time at the Airport due to our occupations. Just smiles of acknowledgements whenever our eyes met. Nothing else, no conversation whatsoever. And while there were many other guys from Malaysia Airlines approached me to hangout and such, this particular guy never did. And truth be told, I declined all invitations from other guys, as I only waited for HIM. He was the only one I was interested in getting to know. And so, months went by before it finally happened.

It was on that midnight of 31st July. I was browsing around a Duty Free store before going home, when he walked in and said hi. I was numbed. No kidding. Butterflies floating all over my insides. And so we talked in the shop for abit. And before I knew it, we were on the walkalator heading to the other end of the airport whilst still being caught up in conversation. Clearly, a conversation I had waited for months to take place.

We finally ended up saying good bye close to 3am. Yea, we strolled all over the airport. I swear I couldn't sleep that whole night and couldn't wait to see him again. And so from then on, whenever we managed to come across each other at the Airport, we always spoke. Of course, it wasn't long convos as there was always a rush to handle flights. But it wasn't until exactly one month later that we chanced upon another long moment again. And it was then that we exchanged phone numbers (cellphones weren't heard of at that time) and he offered to send me home. My first 'date' with him. Everything else was unimportant. Heaven on Earth kindoff feeling.

And thus, began the most happiest moments of my life, while at the same time (and I hate saying this), it was the start of my parents' nightmare come alive. I had no idea how to tell them that I started seeing a Muslim guy. Because I think from the time I was old enough to understand words, it was drilled into my head never to get romantically involved with a Muslim man.

It was during these times that I discovered the world to be a small place. Because very shortly after we started going out together seriously, while trying to be as discreet as possible, somehow everyone knew about Debbie and the 'Malay' guy. Yep, back then, he was known as the Malay guy! "Are you still going out with the Malay guy?" "When are you gonna break up with the Malay guy?" "You know that you have to change your religion if you marry the Malay guy?". Obviously the revelation of me and my Malay guy did not come from my parents as the weren't overjoyed to tell their friends that their daughter was in love with a Muslim. Apparently people spotted us here and there, from what I heard. Didn't I feel like a celebrity with 'paparazzis' swarming all over KL!

Anyway, anyway, I never fought my parents on this in the sense of being rebellious, but I didn't give him up either. I loved this guy so much and I was patient because deep down in my heart I knew that he will be my husband someday. I knew that this was the person my children would be calling 'Daddy'. I knew that he will be the one I went to bed with at nights and woke up in the mornings with.

So, to cut a long story short because I think I've written about it before, all turned out well in the end. I waited till I got my parents' blessings and made sure that they were comfortable with it, and only then did we go ahead and get married.

This is the day we celebrate in addition to our actual wedding anniversary on the 4th February. Because this day is just as important. In fact, my husband leans more towards this day. Because if it wasn't for 31st July, there probably wouldn't have been a 4th February either.

That's it la guys. I can go on and on writing about my husband but I'm rushing and typing this and I can't check for grammatical errors, so forgive me if any. I just got home from dins with my darling and trying to post this hurriedly while he's showering. So, adieu for now.

For the record, I still get butterflies in my tummy whenever I think about The Day We Met!

Cuci Otak

Oh Lordy, isn't this a beautiful sight? I've got a hunch that this is going to be my new favourite place whenever I need to deactivate myself.

It's the perfect spot to unwind after a hard day's work. Or even to start the day with. Good vibes in abundance! If not for it's distance, I would be there every day. Not a soul disturbs you. It's calmness from A-Z.

Elsewhere, my body is so sore now, after Thursday night's badminton game with my son and his friends. What was I thinking of? But it was fun, though!

Have a good start to the week!

Cry For Help

Depression. Some of us have no idea how fatal this sickness can be. For some, they may have noticeable symptoms while for others, they go about functioning like normal people. And that is why sometimes, it goes unnoticed.

After what happened to Chester Bennington who allegedly committed suicide because of depression, it made me think. It made me worry because my mind wondered to if there are any out there suffering this illness without any help or support..

During an interview, I watched him openly talk about how he struggles to cope with the torments, voices and demons that went on inside his brain when he was alone. Was that a cry for help? If it was, either no one noticed or no one bothered. And this was coming from a rich, famous and successful person, who was struggling to cope with this illness. And even then, no one cared. Which made me think, if a man like Chester was going through this without help or attention, what about regular people who are subjected to this same disease? Are their symptoms being ignored too?

Please peeps, if you know anyone in a similar situation like this, please take a moment to give them your time or encourage them to talk to a shrink. It may very well save their lives. Because there are folks amongst us who don't have anyone to listen to them or  pour out their sorrows to.

I'm no psychiatrist nor a psychologist. But just a couple of years ago, I caught a close friend going down a deep dark tunnel because of a failed relationship. She was so young. She refused to get professional treatment, saying that she was fine. But from a sweet loving person (with some irritating flaws of course) I watched her attitude change day by day and sometimes even to the point of being violent  to me. Her mood swings was such, that she could go from being normal at one minute, and then totally go into an emotional seclusion the next. She refused to further her studies, hardly slept and many times, called me in the middle of the nights crying on the phone asking me to talk to her.

Today, I'm glad that I never turned my back on her, although I sometimes felt it too risky to be alone with her, worried that I may be abused physically. I feel very guilty for saying this, but in the beginning, I tried to avoid her, because I was concerned for my own safely. She gained pleasure from paining others. Maybe it was her own way to release the pain she felt inside.

Eventually, I felt that I had a responsibility towards her. Most of what I did, was listen. And listened, and listened. I allowed her to vent out every single ounce of anger that she had. Sometimes, that's all they want - someone to listen! There are many causes of depression and in this case from what I figure, it was due to her being feeling extremely betrayed, cheated and couldn't accept it. For what it's worth, it was an online affair between her and the other person. And in all honesty, I really don't know how that works, or how it could've gotten so heart-involved when you've never met each other. That's another thing for you youngsters to be wary off too - never trust a stranger easily!

It took a couple of years and to be honest, I don't know how I did it, but I did manage to eventually bring her out of her emotional mess. These days, we don't talk about what those times did to her, and what brought her down to that level. Occasionally when she does bring it up, I just layan. Maybe it's her way of expelling out the remnants of her past.

Thankfully, she's finally in university now pursuing what she originally planned to study and doing really well, considering how late she started.  She's a smart one, so I reckon there'll be no issues in catching up. Also credits to her daddy for being a strong figure in her life and forcing her to get enrolled at Uni.

I don't know if what she went through was 'depression' as such, but it was clearly a serious issue. And I'm glad I hung in there for this girl. Otherwise, they outcome may have been very different.

If you know anyone who's going through this, please do the same for them. It doesn't take dollars and cents. All it takes is compassion. And your ears.
x

In The End.....

Dear Chester,

Heard the news first thing this morning.

This was the only band where I can truthfully say that I like every single song. In an era where anyone who babbles out vocals call it songs and call themselves singers, Linkin Park was my one and only favourite band. Real singers. True musical geniuses.

I've been sad all day long. Every single hit of Linkin Park has been blasting out from my speakers at home throughout the day as tribute to you. When I had to leave the house, the speakers in my car took over. Even so, every single radio station I tuned in to, were playing Linkin Park songs. Your songs! And on the way home while listening to In The End, I couldn't stop my tears from falling.

I love you and I'm going to miss you. You've not only broken my heart, but millions of your loyal fans' all over the world too. Thank you for giving us good music and thank you for sharing your wonderful talents with all of us.

In The End, I hope that you'll finally be granted the peace and happiness that you've craved for and rightfully deserve. And may every single pain and torment you've endured for so long, be vanished. Linkin Park will never be the same and there'll never be another you! Rest peacefully Chester dear.

I need hugs now.

Breakfast Order

You know you're 100% Malaysian when you open your eyes in the mornings and all you can think of is nasi lemak. And sometimes, I just give in to my morning fantasies when I decide to take a break from juicing.

But first, let me clarify something. 5 of the emails that I received, asked me a question related to the same thing -  whether was it Ariff that I was referring to on my previous post. No. Hell No! Ariff doesn't roll that way. Whenever we do have issues, he makes sure we reach a clear solution or understanding to resolve whatever it is. There and then. He would never sweep it under the carpet and only talk about it some other time when he feels he can 'handle' it. That is the reason our friendship bond which is coming up to 8 years, has only gotten stronger. Friends have their feud at times. And so do we. Because we're friends. But again in answer to your concerned queries, it's not Ariff .

Ok, back to nasi lemak. During the entire month of Ramadan, this particular stall was closed. And they were supposed to resume business on the 5th day of Raya. So, on the night before they reopened, I was literally counting the hours till I can get hold of a bungkus of that nasi lemak sotong. It's really delicious - the sambal being slightly sweet and quite pedas. Just the way a nasi lemak should be.

Anyway, today was one of those mornings. And having my breakfast at that serene park with it's nice chilly breeze at 7.15am, was a sure way to kickstart this wonderful Monday!

Kopi 434

Hey you coffee drinkers out there. I have 2 packages of this coffee 434 for giveaways.

Actually, few weeks ago, I ordered this coffee for a very special someone who loves this brand and this morning my friend who I purchased this from, called and told me that the coffee has arrived. I even forgot that I had ordered this.

Thing is, the person who I got this coffee for, is no longer around. I don't mean he's dead for godsake, or I'll cry bucket load of tears because I really love him. Our friendship if described, truly unique in a weird way. He had a few names that he playfully and teasingly called me with - names that if other people used on me, I'd shoot rubber bullets in between their eyelids haha. Yup, he's the only one I allowed to use those names on me. But in a heated moment of intense anger when I told him not to call, that's exactly what he did - no communication since. Can't blame him though. Because that's what I said at that time of rage, and that's what he fulfilled. Anyhow, his well being and happiness are always in my prayer.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is, since I am not a coffee wallah, so if anyone of you do like this 434 coffee and are interested in having it, let me know. Just email me your address (Malaysians only) and I'll post it to you. No charges, don't worry. I have 2, so it'll be on a first-come-first-serve basis for 2 people. I haven't collected it from my supplier friend yet, so maybe sometime around next week it will be shipped off.

Elsewhere, it has been a beautifully rainy day, all day. My perfect kind of day.

And best of all, this afternoon, I was on video call with Hamed's Mom at his office, she showed me this awesome Arabian coffee pot which she got for me. I was ecstatic!! I've been wanting this forever but not the ones that they sell here because it has to be from some Middle Eastern country you know? Or in this case, Africa. Only last week I mentioned it to her and today she got it for me. Can't wait to receive from her when she comes over to Malaysia next week to join Hamed's kids who are already here for their summer holidays. "The heat here in Alex is like hell", she said. Haha.

Meanwhile, check out my chicken and mushroom chapati wraps that I proudly made myself. Had this on Sunday, loved it, so made it again today.

So once again, if any of you would like to have the coffee, you know what to do.

Hugs